Why Did I Start Dreams of Wellness?

I studied health and wellness because I always cared about longevity and wanting to live a healthy life while on earth. I sought knowledge about nutrition and activity across the lifespan, while honing my skills to practice - always remaining physically active myself. However, the longer I stayed in this field, I realized that from a sociological standpoint, the U.S system wasn’t set up to allow people to thrive in their health for a number of reasons. My sociological studies outlined the ways that gender inequality, racism, classism, sexism, ageism, religious discrimination amongst other things create added barriers and stresses in life that make it harder to be healthy. I wanted to learn how I could advocate for improving our society’s long-standing health inequalities, and pursued my Master’s Degree in Public Health with an emphasis on Health Equity. I delved more into the applied history of public health, the U.S healthcare system, program planning and community development, policies and enforcement of public health, neighborhoods and built environment, grant writing, and a slew of research courses, both qualitative and quantitative. I wanted to do this work. 

Ironically enough, my final semester of the program was in Spring 2020 when COVID-19 swept through the world, causing a shift to online courses, and a virtual graduation. Despite those challenges, I was able to secure my first full-time job working for a non-profit in Tampa Bay that allowed me to specialize in community connection and collaborations for health equity. However, I saw that this field of helping others was sorely under-resourced, and the well-funded organizations that had the capacity to collaborate with others often weren’t impacting health at the community level in a way that the community deemed helpful. Moreover, the workforce of these community organizations (many women of color) didn’t have the capacity to be healthy themselves a lot of the time because of the stressful nature of their jobs that also didn’t pay well.

Here’s where the rubber met the road for me. In early 2021, I was diagnosed with a tumor on my pituitary gland, which sits at the base of the brain. This tumor, which I aptly named Steve Urkel because of its unwanted presence, yet persistent nature, crashed the way my hormones were functioning in my body. It had been there for a while, slowly causing issues that suddenly seemed to spiral. This condition is called Cushing’s Disease. Because of this Cushing’s Disease, I was pushing out stress hormones continuously, and that crashed my thyroid function as well. What did this look like? A slowed metabolism with the symptoms of high cortisol. My muscles became weak. I was tired all of the time, having to take up to 3 naps a day to function. My active lifestyle took a turn due to the pain and constant need for rest. I gained about 30 pounds in 3 months. I developed insomnia that had me wake at all hours of the night. Emotionally, the lack of sleep led to increased anxiety, which was further exacerbated by the cortisol. I had migraines and brain fog. I started to have high blood pressure, which was nothing I had ever experienced, and along with that, my blood levels were showing that I was slowly developing higher A1C levels and moving closer to Type 2 diabetes. I wouldn’t find out until later, but this also contributed to mild Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Again, this was not something that I caused directly, but something that my body just did. It’s also important to note that before the diagnosis, I was essentially blown off by my first primary doctor because if I had indeed had cushings, I would have “looked more sick” than I had and I was “too young” for serious conditions. My condition progressed while I tried to navigate a complicated and fragmented health care system as a student in Atlanta, causing further stress. I was living the life of the data I studied. 

Eventually, through many appointments, finally meeting with a new primary doctor, an endocrinologist, an ear nose and throat specialist, and a neurosurgeon, I was blessed to be scheduled for a surgery that would remove Steve Urkel. During this time, I was fortunate to have the support of parents close by, and a fiance who was already sticking by my side through sickness and health. 

The tumor was removed in July of 2021, and I have been recovering ever since. It is now 2024 and the journey, though not always easy, has taught me a lot. Through having a condition that showed me directly how stress hormones crash quite literally every system in the body, I have had to purposefully take the time to cut many of the stressors that perpetuate poor health. As a Black woman who works in the Public Health and Policy Field, I don’t always feel the healthiest due to the innate stressors of having to focus on inequality. At times, I find myself mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually burned out, like other women in this line of work. 

I’m pursuing this venture because as much as we focus on the stress and the barriers, there’s room to focus on the healing, and our holistic wellness. I believe our human nature is focused on living the best life possible, and we are primed to frame things in negative mindsets because of our desires to grow, improve and live well. We have to notice problems in our lives yet at the same time, we have the innate ability to address and solve them when we have the capacity to dream. This blog and newsletter will focus on topics of healing, health, inner peace and holistic wellness. I’m glad you’re joining me. Stay tuned.